


Hamlet Interlude: One

by rapture_boy



Series: The Old Road [2]
Category: Darkest Dungeon (Video Game)
Genre: Developing Friendships, Drinking, F/F, M/M, Team Bonding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-14 19:01:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15395346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rapture_boy/pseuds/rapture_boy
Summary: Thank you for reading! Hopefully I'll be able to post a bit more regularly.





	1. Audrey

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Hopefully I'll be able to post a bit more regularly.

Paracelsus liked graveyards. She could spend hours wandering through them, admiring headstones and wondering how the owners might have died. In her years at the university she’d also learned to love them for their academic use. The small graveyard near her lab had granted her a cadaver on more than one occasion, although she would deny knowing of any connection between the bodies on her slab and the funerals next door.

            “What’cha doing?” A voice called out.

            Paracelsus nearly jumped out of her skin. She looked around, trying to find the owner of the voice. Eventually, she spotted a figure seated atop a broad family monument. The woman wore clothing that had at one point been luxurious; Paracelsus could still make out the glint of silver on the buckles of her boots.

            “I’m just browsing. You?” She called out. The figure jumped down from where she sat, and made her way over to where Paracelsus stood.

            “Me too. See anything interesting?” The woman was now standing before her. “My name is Audrey, by the way.” She held out a small, gloved hand.

            “Paracelsus.” They shook hands.

            “Have we met somewhere before? You seem very familiar.” Said Audrey. She smiled up at Paracelsus, who stood a few inches taller. Her smile seemed honest, and it lit up her green eyes. “You weren’t around in Valheim were you? That’s where I just came from.”

            “Really? Me too.” Paracelsus had been from there. That was where her university was.

            “Maybe we met at a bar or something? I could swear I’ve seen you.”

            “Perhaps we could work it out over a drink? It is getting to be a bit late, and I have yet to check out the local tavern,” Paracelsus offered.

            “It would be my pleasure.”

            The two women made their way from the small cemetery to what remained of down town. Paracelsus nodded slightly as she passed Reynauld; he still seemed off to her after their failure in the crypts. The residents of the small hamlet seemed a bit cheerier tonight (or rather, a little less miserable), possibly due to the clear skies and fresh air thatcame with fall.

            The tavern was surprisingly crowded, considering how small the population was. They had to look a bit before they found a relatively secluded table. The bartender recognized Paracelsus when she waved at him, and brought her an ale and some whiskey for Audrey.

            “I don’t recall seeing you around here. Did you get here recently?” She asked.

            “Mhm. I came this morning. Nasty ride; I nearly turned around when I saw the carriage driver.” Said Audrey with a laugh. “When did you get in? You seem to know a few folks. Been a while?”

            Paracelsus took a swig of her beer. “I came in maybe a week ago, with a nun.”

            “What did you do back in Valheim, if you don’t mind my asking?”

            She did mind. But it would be rude not to answer, and Audrey was easy to talk to. “I worked at the medical university.”

            “Aha! That might be where we met. I did a few odd jobs for some of the professors there. Perhaps we had some friends in common?”

            “Depends on the jobs you did. I was in the labs most days.” Paracelsus took a sip of her drink. Perhaps they had met before. There was an odd familiarity in her dusty blond hair and irreverent smile.

            “What sort of work did you do in those labs, eh? Always wondered what went down in those dungeons. God! The smocks you people would wear were enough to keep me up for nights.”

            What manner of work indeed, Paracelsus thought. Still, it was a nice change of pace to have someone be interested in her work. So far the townspeople didn’t care, and she doubted her first impression upon the other adventurers. Junia certainly hadn’t been impressed.

            “We’d do research. On how the body works, what medicines do what when used on certain diseases. Lots of readings and lectures from practicing doctors, that sort of thing.”

            “Did you do dissections?” There was a gleam in Audrey’s eyes.

            Another sip of beer. “Yep, of course. That’s the best way to see how something works, you know? Taking it apart.” Paracelsus eyed the way Audrey toyed with the rings on her hands. Her slender fingers were much too small for most of them, and she twirled them thoughtlessly as she listened.

            “Oh, how horrid!” Audrey gave a laugh that rang like silver bells. “How truly dreadful! I suppose you’ve seen it all, then? Nothing could ever surprise you.” Her eyes smiled with glee, despite her chiding words. Her accent hinted that, despite her dress, she was high born; she played with words in such a way that made her seem fancy despite her dusty coat and scuffed boots. Her voice was relaxed, too. Nothing like the diligently trained eloquence of middle class scholars like Paracelsus.

            “I’m surprised, now and again. You’d be amazed at the work a good infection can make of even a regular papercut. There was this man, came in a few years back...I had to take off his whole hand, just on account of an infected spider bite.” Paracelsus leaned back in her chair. “What about you? What were you up to before you came to this circus of fools?” Paracelsus slipped her a faint smile.  

            Audrey leaned over the table, grinning and letting her eyes dart to surrounding tables. Paracelsus raised an eyebrow. Audrey, seemingly satisfied that no one could hear, stared her in the eyes. “Can you keep a secret?” She almost giggled.

            “I’ll keep it to the grave,” Paracelsus leaned in too.

            “Well, I--,” She was cut off by Dismas, who had approached the table with Reynauld close behind.

            “There! See, Rey, I told you there’s another lamb come to the slaughter.” He was clearly drunk, and his words slurred together a bit. Reynauld looked away, embarrassed. “I thought I saw a new face. ‘Celsus here found a friend, eh, Doctor?”

            “Good to see you in such high spirits, Dismas!” Paracelsus smiled at the scene; Dismas drunk, dragging a quite sober Reynauld behind him was rather amusing. “Audrey, this is Dismas. The armored one is Reynauld.”

            “Good t’meet you, lady,” Dismas held out a hand to Audrey, who shook it graciously.

            “The pleasure is mine,” Audrey smiled. “Would you two care to join us? We have some spare seats, as you can see.” She gestured towards the empty chairs.

            “Don’t mind if we do,” slurred Dismas. He sat down next to Audrey; Reynauld awkwardly sat beside Paracelsus.

            Audrey waved the bartender over, and ordered another whiskey and another beer each for Dismas and Paracelsus. Reynauld politely declined her offer to buy him a round. She and Dismas found it easy to amuse each other; before she knew it Paracelsus was left relatively alone with Reynauld.

            “Doing alright?” She finally asked, breaking the awkward silence between the two of them. Reynauld looked dull, and rather irritated by the rowdy scene.

            “Fine. Not the biggest fan of places like this, but Dismas talked me into it.” He gave a weak smile. “What have you been up to, now that we’ve been back for a couple days?”

            “Exploring, mostly. Did you know that the catacombs of the abbey extend nearly down to the cemetery? I was wandering about in there, looking through old archives, and before I knew it I was lost.”

            “Not surprising. It’s an old building, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was once bigger than it is now.”

            The two fell again into uncomfortable quiet. Dismas and Audrey, now flushed with drink, were laughing over the lyrics to some old, obscene song that Paracelsus didn’t recognize. She took another sip of her drink, remembering the expedition into the ruins. How long would they have before they were sent back? She looked at Audrey, who was smiling and laughing the smiles and laughs of someone without fear. Paracelsus pictured, for a second, what her face would look like when she screamed. She knew that no one was immune to fear. She herself, though it didn’t happen often, was afraid in those tunnels. Junia, strong and devoted as she was, screamed when she was struck by those living dead. Audrey didn’t seem strong. She seemed happy.

            “I’ve heard talk of another excursion,” interrupted Reynauld. “Into the forest.”

            “Have you now?” Joked Dismas, smiling and holding up his beer towards Reynauld.

            “Yes,” said Reynauld seriously. “We’ll be told whose to go tomorrow. I hear the campaign will take place in a few days, and is expected to take several nights.”

            “That’s an awful long time to be walking in the woods, don’t you agree?” Said Audrey lightly. “What do you suppose is out there? Monsters? Heathens?”

            “Perhaps it will be an interesting spot for field research. I wouldn’t mind going; I’d be pleased to get some samples of the local flora,” said Paracelsus, mostly to herself. It had been some time since she traveled willingly into nature.

            The small party continued to sit, and with enough time and alcohol Paracelsus forgot all about the medicinal properties of plants. By the time the bar closed, she could only recall the lyrics she’d just learned to Dismas’s dirty song, and the feeling of Audrey’s weight as she leaned heavily against her on their way back to the barracks. Reynauld half-carried, half-dragged Dismas up the stairs to their shared room, leaving Paracelsus and Audrey to themselves in the large living room. A welcoming fire was still lit, so the two sat on the floor in front of it.

            “Y’know, I haven’t been this drunk since…since undergrad!” slurred Paracelsus.

            Audrey giggled, laying down on the floor. Her hat fell off of her head, letting her hair form a wreath around her youthful face. As she laughed, Paracelsus could see that when she smiled she had dimples. “I haven’t been this drunk since…well, last night if I’m being honest.” She turned onto her side, looking up at Paracelsus with a sly smile. “Tell me, Paracelsus…Can we possibly shorten that? It’s such a mouthful. You could be, oh, I don’t know. Sussie-

            “Absolutely not. You’ll have to do better.”

            “Cels?”

            “I suppose that’s alright.” Paracelsus lay down too, on her side.

            “So, Cels. What brings a respectable doctor out so far from respectable places?”

            “Well, what brings you out here?” Paracelsus smiled, amused by the Audrey’s failure to appear serious. Audrey shoved her arm.

            “No! That’s not an answer! You first, darling, or else I’ll call you Sussie.”

            “The truth?”

            “I mean, of course. You can’t well lie when you’re drunk. That’d be against the rules.”

            “What rules? I didn’t know that there were rules to these things.”

            “It would be impolite. Improper.” Audrey pushed a stray lock of black hair out of Paracelsus’s eyes. “What sort of a doctor were you, wearing such-such poor robes! Your dress is deplorable!” She collapsed into laughter.

            Paracelsus didn’t mind. She, too, found herself laughing. “Perhaps I’m not such a respectable doctor. Didn’t that cross your mind?”

            “Perhaps it did. Can’t say I’ve known too many respectable ones. Not truly, that is.” Audrey sighed, catching her breath. “You know, I don’t have any idea whereabouts I’m supposed to sleep.”

            “There are bedrooms upstairs. Loads of ‘em, except that some are in too bad a state of repair. Dis and Reynauld got here first and share the best one. Mine’s alright, except that the window’s broken and a portion of the ceiling came away.”

            “Can I stay with you?” Audrey asked, nearly sheepishly except for her permanent smirk.

            “I’d say yes except that there’s only the one bed. I figure mine is an old master bedroom of sorts.” Paracelsus sat up. “I can show you the livable rooms, and you can pick one if you’d like.” Paracelsus regretted moving so suddenly; her vision swirled.

            Paracelsus held out her hand, offering to help Audrey up off the ground. She nearly collapsed when Audrey pulled herself up; she hadn’t banked on her being so heavy. Audrey noticed, and chuckled.

            “I’m not _that_ fat, am I?”       

            “N-no, not at all!” Paracelsus blushed. “I’m…really not that fit. Also, I’m drunk.”

            The two made their way slowly up the stairs of the old manor house, carefully trying to make sure they didn’t step on any weak spots in the wood. Reynauld had fallen through a rotted patch on one of the steps, and Paracelsus hadn’t trusted them since. Eventually, they made it up to the second floor.

            “Here are your options, Madam. On the left, you see ‘empty two-bed bedroom featuring leaky ceiling.’ Marvelous compared to the rat-infested pantry, mind you. On the right, behind that closed door, you’ll find Dismas and Reynauld’s room. They took the best one. A door down from them is me. Across from me is ‘queen sized bed featuring a broken window and mold problem.’ The next one down is actually tolerable-

            “Are you quite sure I can’t just stay with you?” Audrey was smiling, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

            “I mean, I wouldn’t mind much, but there’s only the one bed. One of us would have to take the floor, and I haven’t swept since…well, ever.”

            “We could share, if you wouldn’t mind. I don’t kick or anything.”

            Paracelsus stopped walking and stared for a moment at Audrey. “Don’t tell me…” She smiled slightly. “…Are you scared? Of this house?” She laughed.

            “No! Shut up, you horrid bully!” Audrey giggled and whacked her in the stomach playfully. Her smile faded slightly. “Perhaps a little.”

            “I don’t mind. It’ll be just like boarding school.” Paracelsus said, then looked shocked by her own words. “Not that I slept with girls in boarding school. Just the roommates part.”

            Audrey raised an eyebrow slightly, but her smile returned. “It’ll be fun! Just like a sleepover party!”


	2. Chapter 2

            When Audrey awoke it was to the sensation of weight upon her chest and the nagging pain of a headache. As she blinked the sleep from her eyes she saw an arm draped awkwardly across her chest, still clad in the same green as it was the night before. Audrey remembered, slowly, that she’d met someone, but she had no recollection of taking anyone to bed…

            That was when the name returned to her. Paracelsus. She had no recollection of taking anyone to bed because, well, she hadn’t. Not really, anyway. She glanced at the mop of scruffy black hair, barely visible from under the musty quilt. Audrey was tempted for a moment to pull back the blanket; to finally get a good look at the face of the strange doctor. So much of their introduction had been in dim lighting that she only vaguely had a sense of her appearance. She decided ultimately to wait. The risk of startling her was simply too high.

            Audrey slipped out from under Paracelsus’s arm, realizing rather urgently that she needed to find a bathroom. She pulled on her boots as quietly as possible, leaving the large room without a sound. She took extra caution when closing the heavy, ancient door.

            “Mornin’, sunshine,” Dismas’s voice almost made her jump out of her skin.

            “Hello!” She turned towards him, seeing that he, too, was just leaving his room.

            “Have a good night?” He eyed the door with a smirk. “I’d never guess that our doctor swung that way.”

            "What, and I would?” She felt her face heat up.

            Dismas hummed slightly in affirmation. “I wouldn’t be too surprised.”

            “Who are you to talk?” She had an edge to her voice now. She whispered harshly, “for all I know you and the armored one could be up to something. Why would two grown men willingly share a room, anyway?” She walked towards Dismas, hopefully out of earshot from Paracelsus’s room. 

            Dismas leaned in close. “Maybe we are,” he stood up straighter. “Takes one to know one, after all.”

            “Hush!” Audrey looked over her shoulder.  Seeing no signs of stirring from Paracelsus’s room, she whispered. “Not so loud! We didn’t do anything last night.”

             Dismas placed a gloved hand on her shoulder. “I knew it,” he said with conviction. “Don’t let Reynauld find out. He’ll try to convert you.”

             “Wait, so you’re not…?”

             “No,” Dismas smiled. “Not yet, anyway.”

             “You lied!” Audrey frowned. “You perfect little bastard…If you tell anyone, I’ll-

             “Hush up, now. I didn’t lie.” He held a finger to her lips. “At least not about all of it.”

            “Then, you’re like me?”

            “Like I said: Takes one to know one.” Dismas turned and headed for the stairs.

            “Wait!” Audrey jogged slightly after him. “Promise you’ll keep this between us? I simply can’t afford, well, you know…This is my last resort, coming here. I can’t have it going upside-down on me, you understand?”

            The two walked down the stairs together, occasionally stepping into single file to avoid the caved in parts. “I ain’t no snitch,” said Dismas into his scarf. “But if you rat me out to Sir Knight, and get me kicked out of the best room, I’ll ruin your life.”

            “I would never. You have my word,” she smiled lightly, a weight having been lifted from her. That is, before her neglected bladder caught up to her. “Oh, Dismas, I nearly forgot to ask. Where would I find the nearest toilet?”

            “It’s out back, in the yard.” They reached the bottom of the stairs, finding the caretaker in the living room. “Best hurry, though. Looks like we’re getting our next mission soon.”


End file.
